People might be wondering, what could be happier than having the chance to pursue studies in an European country like France. Well yes, indeed, it is nice. Being able to stay in France is literally one of the most wonderful things that had happened to me. Nevertheless, being me, i know that i always prefer to stay near my family, no matter how much money the government can provide for me to stay put in this cold country. Apparently there are too many challenges that i have to deal with and to confront each one of them every day, it is not without difficulties. And i am literally tired of thinking ways to get me out of this life that i never wished for. A life with a complicated mind and disturbed heart, it’s not the life that i would want to have.

But one thing that i look up to myself most is that, for once in my whole life, i can say that my academical results are always better than the others. I speak with pride, but not arrogance. As i grew up, i understand that it is truly important and essential to have an outstanding result in order to place ourselves together with the intellectuals. As i grew up, my friends label me as the talented language person, and with that i have never regretted when i chose this path to continue my studies in linguistics. I knew i will make it till the end, and i will make sure that it will happen. I never had the idea of being a teacher but so what, i will make sure that i’ll be a great one. One thing, and that’s it.

I usually keep things to myself. I don’t have many friends, because most of them literally come and go just like that. Plus, being the only drop of water in a huge tank of oil, it is never easy to find good friends that you can count on. Believe me. However, i am used to be labeled as the odd one, and i didn’t mind about that. Odd, as in, personally, really odd. I remembered i was scolded by a good friend when i was 13. She hindered me from going to the boarding school and she said that if i don’t listen to her, we won’t be friends anymore. And so we are not. Till now. “If she did that, then it is so clear that she never wanted to be your friend!” Yea, i know that. But the main reason that we never remain friends is not the fact that i entered boarding school. Its just that when i went in there, i never had the chance to chat with her on the telephone like we used to, and so we lost contact. I know this thing is childish and stuff, but i’m just flashing back those days. How i wish that i could turn back the clock..

Never mind. Actually that was not the main thing that i wanna share today. Gahh.. It’s already 3rd of February and CNY is so so so around the corner. So now you know how depressed i am? No one can understand this, no one no oneeeeeeeee. They say its the same because the can’t celebrate Raya with their family too but no it is not same at all! At least you guys have the bunch of ppl who would understand you guys but me here no! I am left alone like a clam in a big can of oysters. No one here would understand how i feel. I’m not exaggerating. But i’m serious! I AM HOMESICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey everyone!!

I wanna wish a

happy and joyful Christmas to you all,

family and friends, friends of family,

friends of friends,

and reader of this blog!

Merry Christmas!!

Please please please do not forget

to put a glass of hot milk (half ful) and

a plate of cookies for Santa tonight!

And exchange gifts,

ouh this is gonna be so fun!!

Merry Christmas everybody!

This is the season to be jolly,

falalalala lala la la!!!!

(taken from http://images.paraorkut.com/img/pics/images/c/christmas_snoopy-11420.jpg)

Ola guys! It has been quite a time since i last updated my blog! I was quite busy with exams, and there are alot more to come in these coming weeks. Studies are tough, but i can cope with that, i guess.

Other than that, everything is going on perfectly well, except for the moodswings i had every one of these days. It is hard to accept the fact that i’m feeling very lonely here, eventhough i tried to get on with it. Blame the ugly weather for being gloomy all the time, blame myself for avoiding such people whom i refuse to see. I have been going out alone these few days, to the movies alone, walking in town alone, because i felt that it isn’t that bad to hang out with yourself after all. Cinemas are always empty, so its like me alone in the big room so who cares right? Yea, that’s the point. Nobody cares.

My fellow friends in Malaysia have been quite quiet too, i swear. Have not talked to Momy since few weeks ago, sisters are quiet too. But i bet, they must be having fun now because its the year end break, Christmas shopping, sales here and there, great. And i’m stuck in this wonderful town, no other place to go. Yippee.

And its cold too. Its terribly cold.

Perhaps this is the first time living in a totally different place, with entirely different people. Perhaps i’ll feel better after a while. Maybe i should start mixing with a whole different group of people, learn new stuffs. Or maybe i should just leave time pass and get on with life like this. Maybe, hurm.

So yea, what’s for Christmas this year? People said celebrating Christmas in an european country would be surprisingly wonderful because of winter and chimneys. I bought my christmas tree, decorated it a little bit, by myself. Its not that bad, maybe i should go boyfriend-hunting and celebrate Christmas with him and his family. Would be a good excuse to be a little bit loving this year. Haha. It’s really a waste that most of my coursemates do not celebrate Christmas. It would be better to have someone u know to share this feeling. In a way, i’m glad that i blogged about this, it makes me feel better when i expressed how my heart feels when there’s nobody to talk to.

Nevertheless, i should say that this is a whole new experience for me, and i am looking forward for more. Give me some time, and maybe i’ll get to know more people and more things in this historical country. Again, not many of us get the chance to spend years in other countries without needing to pay a single cent. So, why complain? I’ll go find a bunch of friends to tag along, and yea. Hopefully everything will go on well and fine.

Uwa uwa uwa.. I miss my buckie. I miss him licking my hand when i wanna leash him. I miss him biting my fingers when i wanna unleash him. I miss his bulu. I wanna pet pet his head. Tsk tsk. I really really miss him.

Should i go back next February? Financial wise, memang enough wan. If i really want to go back, it will cost me around 1000 euros for flight, trains, souvenirs, and pocket money for me to spend in Malaysia. I have that. The problem is when i compare to a one week holiday in UK or somewhere, it might be cheaper than that 1000 euros, probably 50% from that amount. If i go back to my hometown, i can meet my loved ones, i mean, all of them. But then when i think again, i will balik again during the semester break in June/July. So what’s the point going back so many times and wasting so much money? Thing again and again. If i tak balik, i won’t be in the family photo. Ahhh!! That’s a nightmare ler!! Haihz. But sometimes, not everyone gets to get in the family photo. Take Yiang as an example, she was always away in Australia, and there are several years where she didn’t come back for CNY. But that’s another story because her father is super rich, like richer than Brunei king, so.. Hurm. I kinda need opinions now. I have super lots of friends in UK, my neighbour’s daughter is in UK, and my mom’s bestfriend’s daughter is in UK too. So i might as well visit them and celebrate CNY together? They might have super lots of celebrations in UK compared to France because, yea France just don’t celebrate asian traditions, so. Hurm. I don’t know. Me needs opinion.

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 ”Definitely miss my IRC days, all these ascii codes..”

Yeap yeap, its true. I am loving France, en particulier, Besancon. Wahaha! The people here are seriously nice and friendly! When i was in Malaysia, a lot of people came to me and asked me to take good care of myself because the french won’t help me if i need any help, and they are snobbish, arrogant, and won’t speak English. Ehem! Its not true at all!! Let me tell you something, when i was in a telephone boutique enquiring for some informations, the guy actually asked me so politely : “vous parlez bien francais, si non, je pourrais t’expliquer en anglais si tu veux!” (Do you speak good French because if not, i can explain in English if you wish). See? Before i spoke with that guy, i entered the boutique and queued up behind a makcik, and she actually said “bonjour” to me. And when she finished her stuffs, she said “au revoir, bonne journee” to me. Ahha! So, apa yang snobbish? Huh Huh? :p Please betulkan ye!

Lols. This weekend, we are having this Sonorama thingy happening in Besancon. I’m part of the activity, and i’ll be helping around the town this Saturday and Sunday at the theatre, and i am so happy that i took part! Haha. It’s quite a big thing, (will write more bout sonorama after the event finish next week!) and the most important thing is that the chairman is super kacak! Seriously super macho + handsome! Lol. All volunteers get a free t-shirt, and free nights in clubs too! But i have not go to one because i was so busy with assignments and classes in the evening. So, too bad. Maybe i would go to the next night out after the autumn holidays! Yippee!!

Yea, autumn holidays! I’ll be going to Paris-Rouen-Strasbourg! Yippee to the maximums! Hahax. Never thought of going these places actually but the tickets are not expensive, so i better spend now before the price goes up!

Hahax. Will blog again soon. Its 12.51am now, and i need to get my beauty sleep. I have Sonorama this Saturday so, haha!

Au revoir mes potes!

Happy ROM!! (Registration of Marriage)

Its too bad i was not there, but i bet the event was very successful and joyful as well. However, i kinda felt weird and sad because usually, things like this are meant for all family members to attend. When i was in my secondary school, i regretted for not being able to be with family because i missed alot of special occasions. For example, Erjie’s convocation in Malacca, Ryan’s birth, picnic in Batu Ferringhi, cousin’s wedding, and stuffs like that. I made a promise not to miss any family outings or occasions when i grow up, and that i won’t be far from home. But now, somehow, i guess the same thing repeated. From this year onwards, (till 2012) i will be missing alot of stuffs probably like San Jie’s convocation, Chinese New Year, Christmas, birthdays, weddings, and more to come.

Whatever it is, i am so so happy for my dear sister Erjie, for her marriage, and for her husband, Galvin kor. Its true that everybody waited for this great big day to come, because whenever Kor meets grandma and the rest of the family in Ipoh, he would surely kena pressure to kahwin
cepat-cepat. Not to forget, kahwin and have babies too. Kor has been counted in our Ang family since the very first photo he took with the big family in Ipoh during Chinese New Year, and from that time onwards, everybody knew that he will be part of the family, which he is, now. And i am so so happy that he is. Its not easy being Kor, i know. He took care of our family, he bought us presents, he brought us out jalan-jalan, advised us when we need advices, belanja us makan, and so many other things that a brother could ever do. And i am so so thankful for that, thankful for his presence.

Now that Erjie & Kor are officially married, i know, San Jie & Damien Kokor sure sangat pressure, and will kena pressure wan. We’ll see. And then, more babies will come out, and Ryan can have cousins, brothers and sisters. I’m happy.

Hey there.

Heehee. I am finally in France now. Besancon is the place. Here, unlike Penang or Kuala Lumpur, the buildings are very antique and somewhat, creepy. Look at the photos i posted on Facebook, and u shall know. I miss the contemporary batiments in KL and Penang, even houses in Penang are nicer than here. But, please do take note that flowers in Besac are much nicer, bulkier, prettier and more colorful. I can never find red flowers in my hometown, even hibiscus can’t breed for long!

Classes will start next week. Last Monday, we (my friends and i) sat for the TCF (Teste de connaissance de francais) exam, and tomorrow the result will be out! Yeehaw! I wonder which class will i get? With whom will i be? Will the schedule be pact? What time will the class start and end? Oh my goodness. I just can’t wait for the classes to start, at least i don’t have to get sucked in this boring life in my studio, sitting in front of the laptop alone! Haha. *complaincomplain* And i hope that our documents will be settled before October starts. Well, important things like the titre de sejour (ID), student card, bank card, train card and stuffs like that are definitely vital it must be settled before the next holiday because i want to go to Germany and meet Sharan! Weehee!

Ahh! I was away a while just now. A China girl just moved here, and she’s staying opposite my house! Hee! A good start to find a foreign friend huh? When i was lingering around the college last Monday, there are a few China students who greeted me in Mandarin and asked, are u China people? (in Mandarin of course) Everyone knows my Mandarin is “mama-tay” (so-so) only, but at least, i can speak and understand what they were trying to say. Jay Chou! Hehee!!

I wonder how would life be, tomorrow and the following days. I always feel like something is missing, something is not right. God knows. Maybe i should see for myself, what is wrong. And maybe try to make it right. Can i? I doubt that well! Hurm. Perhaps things are not complicated as it may look like, but i prefer to stick to my perception and just do what am i supposed to. Look, from the very start, i already knew that we may never stick like how we used to stick, during our foundation year. Imagine, one can be so close with another one, when she used to talk behind that other person. How hypocrite! And then one can be so harsh to the other one, when last time she depended on the other one so much! Haihz. Life’s like this huh? I see it, and i thank God i don’t have to be in it.

Its 11.18pm now, and 5.18am in Malaysia. Hee. I feel like sleeping, but at the same time i feel like eating because i am hungry now. Haha! Anyways guys. See u in my next post! Have a nice day there!

Who is Mrs Tan?? Hahaha.. She’s my sister!! Getting registered on the 19 of September (i am not going to be there. =.=”) The whole wedding dinner process was superb, and the hengdais and chimuis are the best!! Haha.

Actually, i wanted to post this up like, a day after the wedding night, but i just couldn’t because i went to BTN, and then i forgot totally about updating my blog. Seriously i stamped a lot of the “post it” note paper on the wall about updating blogs and photos, but d’uh. I kept of forgetting!!!! Hahaha, and then, now.. since i posted super lots of photos in my previous posts, i will, keep on posting and posting! Hehe. Yea, new camera mah. Thanks to my Lumix!

Ok, so here are some photos!!

The chimuis and the married couple!

Erjie & Chey Chey!

The best food of all because i only get to eat this one!!!

San Jie (yang dah mabuk :P) Me, and Ah San Ko! (brother in law no.1 - haha.. must put ranking wan.. nanti tersilap :P)

Erjie & Me!!

Lengjie, Erjie, Sanjie & Me!

San Jie, Chey Chey, Me & Momy!

Auntie Connie!! And Jennifer beside me!

My beloved daddy and mommy! So happy..

Pour champagne.. pour pour..

Haha! :P Me & Cute Jon! Why do i look so happy?

Presenting, the Chimuis & Hengdais!!

Haha. So, pictures say it all right? It was really a happy and meaningful day, and i can’t wait to celebrate more! Haha. Ehem, who’s next in line huh?