Gee, i am really missing something right now, but i don’t really know what it is. Mom? Dad? Chey? Ryan? Well, i always miss them. 24/7. But, it is just not that. I’m missing something that don’t belong to me. There’s this guy, i met like months ago. (i met, but don’t think i exist in his heart anyway) Yea, and we kinda met each other recently, but then i knew he was taken. Well, i wasn’t expecting him to like me, when i wasn’t sure whether i really like him or not. He is really the type of guy that i fancy, a little muscular with big arms, tall and of course good looking. I always thought of him, but i was sure nothing will happen between us because he was taken, and me, i am not really the type of girl who will get committed with stuffs like that. And i decided that i will just like him, in the sense that he is an interesting guy that everybody will get attracted to.

But so, i tend to have feelings for him. I thought of him now and then, and when i passed by him, i felt super happy (even knowing that he might not bother) and i even dream of him. “What’s the point of liking a guy when he doesn’t even bother if u exists?” Well, it was me who thought that he might not know a thing about me, but i do believe, maybe he knows a little, by the way i always looked at him? And there is even a probability that he knows that i had been looking at him or maybe he do likes me a little too? Why not be a bit optimistic, as things can change when u act to it. Well, it was my fault for not introducing myself when i had the chance to, and i really wish if i would have the chance again. Yea, i do hope for it.

But, when i think about this matter again and again, i would prefer not to say a word to him. Why bother him when he is taken? Why would u want to make things complicated when u can choose not to? But what about my feelings? What about my dream to be with him and stuffs? Things are getting so and so complicated, he never knows.

So here i am now, contemplating whether to tell him the truth, or just be friends with him, until something else happens. Or just stay single until the day i teach. I won’t know. And i just don’t know what to do. Maybe i just stay the way i am now, and pretend that this post is nothing. Like they said : “19 years old girl still have a far far way to go, so why spend your time searching for the guy that later might not be the one on the isle with u?”

*sigh*