I just finished watching Moonlight Resonance/Heart of Greed 2, and the show is super duper nice! After watching it, i felt that i become emo suddenly. (Maybe Yu So Chau influenced me! :P) But what the heck, i like it so much.

At times, i used to be mad at things very fast even it is for no reason. But when i come to think of it again, its just a waste of energy to get mad so often. Its very tiring to get mad at the same thing again and again. For instance, i’ll get glummy whenever some people didn’t care about me, like i how i cared for them. This is the consequences of treating people the wrong way. I agreed with u Mash, why do i need to care about their feelings when they don’t even wanna bother mine. Now, i realised that its not worth it to make myself feel bad also. I’ll live my life for me, and i will not live it to satisfy others ANYMORE.

I think i wanna change my life, as in changing my style of doing things, changing my habits, my routine, and stuffs. And myself too, abit, maybe. I find it dreadful to be treated the way i that i don’t like. So now, bye bye haters, hello newers! Wahha!

And yea, i think i am gonna flunk my trial exam next week. Yea, it is next week, and i haven’t even sit down properly and study yet!! This whole 5 days of holidays, i just sat by the laptop and type type type, chat with Kippo, blog, doing stupid things that i regretted doing now, watching tv, TVB-ing, youtubing and stuffs. I am so dead! Not to forget i still haven’t revise any of the real exam’s format yet! Kippo is now killing himself with his final report, but me now, blogging, watching tv, drinking ribena, laughing, thinking what to eat for breakfast tomorrow, planning on when to go and have steamboat with Preena, sms texting, regretting for not following Shin Yi and the rest to Genting, meeting Grace for dinner, bla bla bla. Jessica Ang May Ching! Wake up and hurry to your desk for your homeworks now!!

Oklah, i’m going to do my works first. Then, i’ll be blogging to end the night. Ciao~

today, i broke up with some one i love. it was me who decided
to break the lines, because i can take it no more. i hate the
ignorance, i hate the girls around him. the sad thing is, he
didn’t object this. he replied with small text messages, forwarded
text messages to tie back the lines. but i felt that its not
sincere enough. i usually have a lot to say when this happens.
but this time around, i was dumbfounded by my own action.
will i regret doing this? i doubted that. but i know, without
me, he’ll be as happy as before. my existence or absence
don’t really mean much to him.

dear camel,

i have to let go, let it all off. just accept it that i want to
let go, even though deep in me, i didn’t ever want to. maybe
with this, u can be more free to fly to wherever u want to
without having to care about me anymore. i think its better
for us to be apart from each other. i hope u’ll be happy
with all the things u have now.

take care.

Few months ago, a guy (God knows who) added me in facebook. He said he knew me, and my sister, he was from my previous high school and is now in the same campus as my sister. Hm. So yea, he added my sister also. But the problem is, he keep acting like he actually know me, where i live and stuffs. At first, i thought that he’s just wanting to know his friend’s sister and stuffs like that, cause before this, some of my sister’s friend did ask about me. But the problem is, when i asked my sister, she said that she didn’t know who this guy is, and according to her, that guy said that i am his friend, that is why he added my sister. Haha! Weird guy. So he has been checking out my page, commenting on my photos, long message chain and stuffs. At first, i just melayan, but as time passed, he really got on my nerves. There’s this one photo of mon amie (my girl friend) and he addressed her ‘him’. So this is the akibat off acting like he knew me and my friends when the truth is he knows nothing. (unless he’s stalking)  And he keep commenting about everything in facebook and seriously i didn’t like that. If we know each other its ok with me, but au contraire, i didn’t know a thing about him. Durh~ Stalker!! Kay-poh. So i did some research in his facebook. Actually, this guy, he adds all the cute chicks and made friend with them. Through wall chatting, and stuffs like that. Gosh. Unbelievable. Yea, it is true that we can make friends online, i have a very good old online friend that i am very closed to also, but, its different u know? Haihz. Just a rant anyway. Haha!

Hey folks. Gosh, it has been weeks since i last wrote a blog post! Yea, i have been busy since the last few weeks ago. Busy with assignments, works here and there, coming exams and stuffs. I was so stuck up with so many things to do, and sometimes so tired with peoples’ behavior. Gosh! The International Language was finally over, and thanks to God, the event was quite a success. It has been a superbly busy week last week, and i think it will be the same next week. God, i just need some time off! Imagine this, last minute decisions of those wonderful lecturers to take the exams end of November? It really drives me mad! For once they said they want us to take the exams next year, so we will score better and have some rest this year, but suddenly they changed their plan.  They told us when we have 1 month more left to prepare for this frightening exam! How fickle! Gosh.

Then i was so tired of this music teacher bragging me to perform when i said i don’t want to. He’s so forcing and he thought he’s the most talented musician in this college. He kept forcing me to perform when i said no for a few times. And he was talking to me about time management when he doesn’t even know how tight my schedule is. Yea, playing piano is my hobby, but hobbies are for free times. When i am busy, eventually i will have lots of things to do so i won’t find some other things we called ‘hobbies’ to spend the day with. In the nutshell, i don’t understand why there’s this kind of people. I really can’t figure it out.

So, my days were not so good, and my mood sucks.

And lately, I’ve been thinking a lot. Really a lot. Thinking about past experiences that made myself into a better person? Perhaps. La question qu’on se demande ici, si un garcon n’aime pas une fille, pourquoi alors devoir-t-il agir comme il l’aime? The question is, if a guy does not like a girl, why then should he act like he likes that girl? Et pourquoi veut-il mentir a cette fille? Pense-t-il que la fille peut-etre blessee au coeur? And why would he want to lie to that girl? Didn’t he think that it will hurt her heart? … That is what life is. U thought u fell in love, but u are actually not. Tant pis. I was so down when this happened to me, but when i think about it again, it worth nothing to be sad or feel being lied and stuff. This is so part of life. Yea, that guy should be blamed for his actions, but maybe he’s just plain stupid to treat people like that? And maybe i’m quite dumb also to believe in what he said, so naive. So now i’m happy to be how i am, living without having to think about caring the feelings of the opposite side we called our partner. Because i don’t have one. Ahha! Pourtant, experiences are worth to be learned!

Yea, i didn’t go to Midvalley for two weeks already! That was a miracle. Haha! Yea, usually, i went there with Pearlie, but lately she seems to be so busy (actually i felt like she’s trying to run away from me for don’t know what reason) Durh~ Maybe she’s mad at me for not being supportive especially during the Midautumn fest. She said she didn’t want to take part in doing anything, but that does not mean i have to follow her what. I was quite geram also because i didn’t know a thing about all the meetings and stuffs, and it was Grace who told me all about it. I was really looking forward for the fest, but that made me disappointed. And the shock is that Pearlie went to one of the meeting without calling me and yet, she told me that she will not attend to any. Then there came some people who said i was trying to be missing in action, when the truth was i didn’t freaking know about all that! Argh.. Geram sial. Whatever la. The fest was held and it was quite fun also taking pictures and stuffs. And it was great, helping Adelynn around.

These are how my life sucks till now. And i am still figuring how to make myself happy and not bothering all the stupid things that will happen in the next few days.

I feel like stopping. I feel like taking it away. I feel stressed. I wanna give up.

I am tired of treating people who actually took me for granted. They might not know that i actually cares when they use me, and they might not know that i am trying to get rid of them. But whenever i try to, they will always bump to me and say all the sweet stuffs. I want them to go away, but at the same time, i want them to stay. Stupid me right? I really hope that they will try to understand how i felt being treated like, and i just hope that one day, they will sit beside me and let me scold their head off. Gosh. If u read this, just so u know, if u never want to end this, one day i might get your face off my mind and make as if like i have not known u, and let see how u can help yourself with all your stupid problems. U can choose to stop all that and i can pretend that all never happens. When u make up your mind, call me up and we’ll chat like a friend.

That’s all for now, i need to sleep. Goodbye!!