People might be wondering, what could be happier than having the chance to pursue studies in an European country like France. Well yes, indeed, it is nice. Being able to stay in France is literally one of the most wonderful things that had happened to me. Nevertheless, being me, i know that i always prefer to stay near my family, no matter how much money the government can provide for me to stay put in this cold country. Apparently there are too many challenges that i have to deal with and to confront each one of them every day, it is not without difficulties. And i am literally tired of thinking ways to get me out of this life that i never wished for. A life with a complicated mind and disturbed heart, it’s not the life that i would want to have.

But one thing that i look up to myself most is that, for once in my whole life, i can say that my academical results are always better than the others. I speak with pride, but not arrogance. As i grew up, i understand that it is truly important and essential to have an outstanding result in order to place ourselves together with the intellectuals. As i grew up, my friends label me as the talented language person, and with that i have never regretted when i chose this path to continue my studies in linguistics. I knew i will make it till the end, and i will make sure that it will happen. I never had the idea of being a teacher but so what, i will make sure that i’ll be a great one. One thing, and that’s it.

I usually keep things to myself. I don’t have many friends, because most of them literally come and go just like that. Plus, being the only drop of water in a huge tank of oil, it is never easy to find good friends that you can count on. Believe me. However, i am used to be labeled as the odd one, and i didn’t mind about that. Odd, as in, personally, really odd. I remembered i was scolded by a good friend when i was 13. She hindered me from going to the boarding school and she said that if i don’t listen to her, we won’t be friends anymore. And so we are not. Till now. “If she did that, then it is so clear that she never wanted to be your friend!” Yea, i know that. But the main reason that we never remain friends is not the fact that i entered boarding school. Its just that when i went in there, i never had the chance to chat with her on the telephone like we used to, and so we lost contact. I know this thing is childish and stuff, but i’m just flashing back those days. How i wish that i could turn back the clock..

Never mind. Actually that was not the main thing that i wanna share today. Gahh.. It’s already 3rd of February and CNY is so so so around the corner. So now you know how depressed i am? No one can understand this, no one no oneeeeeeeee. They say its the same because the can’t celebrate Raya with their family too but no it is not same at all! At least you guys have the bunch of ppl who would understand you guys but me here no! I am left alone like a clam in a big can of oysters. No one here would understand how i feel. I’m not exaggerating. But i’m serious! I AM HOMESICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!