I know the reason why sometimes some people cannot attain happiness.

Wait, define happiness?

It’s not going to concert to watch your favorite artist performing.

It’s not drinking 4 bottles of Heineken to “let go” of your problems.

Nope, definitely not dancing under the disco light.

Nor having enough money to buy a Longchamp accessory everyday.

Happiness is when you know you do the right thing, and you can do the right thing without anything blocking your way. Happiness is when you feel happy not for the fun but for the goodness. Happiness is when you know you’ve reached that limit of being a stupid person and start focusing on what you have to focus on : God. That other level of happiness adalah kebahagiaan yang sangat terjamin, dari awal sampai lah ke akhirnya.

Je reve du bonheur. Mais jusque la, j’arrive pas. J’y peux rien et je regrette.

Pray to God, hopefully everything will go well in future. Give me the strength to make myself “happy”.

Islam and Christian (and others) are religions. Religions worship God. What if God never exists? (Are you kidding me?) But what if God is always omnipresent? We lose nothing.

The saddest things are when : religions are represented by the people. By that I mean, we usually judge a religion based on it’s believers. And our judgements are always misled when we observed the wrong believers, the ones went astray.

Certain prays a lot, asks a lot from God. But what’s the use of praying and asking if you haven’t found the right One to worship to?

Certain claims to be at the correct path (but who knows they are actually at the wrong path?), certain admits that they are lost and confused. How do we do about this?

If we really research, we will find the right religion. Imitate nobody, as human tends to mislead one another.

And when we found it, we will know how much sin we have committed.

That’s all I have to say.

Baby Jade Lynn, born on the 24th of June 2011, 10.10am. She’s such a cute and cuddly little thing, I can’t wait to put her into my arms! My sister Julea, has gone through a severe pain and decided to go for c-sec. I’m just glad that it’s all over now!

Baby has great voice! She cries all the time!! Welcome sleepless nights ahead!!

Congratulations to my sister Julea and bro Galvin, good luck and enjoy parenthood! I will help!

Je ne t’ai pas dit que je t’aime,
Tu ne m’en veux pas?
Je ne t’ai pas dit que tu me manques..
Tu ne m’en veux pas?
Je ne t’ai pas dit que je t’adore,
Tu m’en veux pas?
Je voulais te dire que je te veux toi..
Et j’espère que tu me veux, moi..

Je veux être à Paris avec toi,
Mais tu n’es toujours pas là pour moi…
Je veux que tu saches je t’aime de moins,
Car je sais que tu t’en fou de moi…
Je veux pouvoir laisser ses sentiments là,
Car je sais que tu m’aimerais jamais…
Mais laisse-moi une chance je t’en prie,
Je veux vraiment chéri, être à Paris avec toi…

I’ve been baking so much last month. Almost something everyday, I’m not joking. It’s like I am now a baker and I own a bakery and the shop’s in Rue des Granges 25000 Besançon, France CEDEX. My money spent on baking is definitely more than money spent on my daily needs/groceries. I almost bought myself a 90.54€ Harper Mixer Machine, 5 pyrex bowls and3 mold pans! (Luckily I didn’t, money is tight because of travelling!)

Baking is so much fun, and happy. The process, and also the outcome. Especially when I’m now having the greatest holiday in the world, I’m off uni until September!! (But I still have 2 exams coming up tomorrow, Wednesday and one last one next Monday but after that.. I’m gonna be a free bitch, baby!!) So yea, basically I spend most of my free time reading, baking, watching Hong Kong dramas, rewatching Hong Kong dramas, swimming, baking, travelling, baking, delivering my cakes door to door, baking, travelling, and baking. Heh. Life is so goooooooooooooooood!

Baking is so much more fun if you bake for people who really appreciate your cakes truthfully and honestly. I made a batch of cupcakes to be taken to Paris last fortnight, but they were kinda depreciated, I felt. That’s a story for another day, I don’t wanna talk about it. Sigh. But, but but but, last weekend, I made oreo cheesecake and I actually wanted to just give to some random people on the road but I know it’s weird and so I didn’t. But instead, I gave to 3 of my friends, and I was really happy I did! I packed 2 slices into 3 containers, and the first receiver was Sarah, 2nd was Anith, and 3rd was my apero friend who lives just around the neighbourhood! And guess what, all positive reactions and comments! The 1 sentence from Sarah actually flattered me and I literally felt like on cloud nine that day. “You are awesome, you do things!!” And then the next day she kept praising how delicious the cheesecake was. Second receiver, Anith. I texted her and said that I’m going to her apartment to give her some cheesecake and when she opened the door and saw the cheesecake, she greeted it with a huge smile! With much love I handed her the box of cake and she said thanks over and over again. On Facebook, on Twitter, on Instagr.am. So I flew high! Hehehe. And the last receiver, my apero friend, she was so surprised too and said merci, t’es très gentille et tout lalali lalala.. Hehe.

I know, almost everybody can bake a cheesecake, what is so grand about it? Whatever lah! Essential is I’m happy with what I did and I definitely will continue baking and delivering door to door again.

So, a cupcakerie someday perhaps?

Peace out!

Please stop falling

for the wrong guy

please can?

Kthxbai.

2 more sunny weeks, 2 more only!

Updates :

Last week, I experienced gas leak in my apartment! But luckily, it’s just a stupid small gas bottle in the fridge. The gas that cools the fridge blah blah thingy, but I panicked and call the firemen. Hehe! Well, it’s not really a false alarm I think, the odor is dangerous and can suffocate you to death ok? Et donc I had to empty my fridge, and give away my milk and stuffs like that to people since I couldn’t keep them in my fridge. Bleh.. If it’s still winter then I could just put those stuffs out the window!

Then the next day, I went swimming at Lafayette, and it was a really sad day for me. When I was swimming in the pool, a kiddo actually bumped into me and I freaked out, I was like, hey kiddo why are you coming so close to me? Till he opened his mouth and uttered : “Tu t’appelles comment? Je suis desole, je te vois pas” (What is your name? I’m sorry I couldn’t see you.) The boy, is blind! My heart melted and I wanted to just say awww it’s okay, and cry. I then realized that it was an outing day for the kids at the ecole maternelle nearby. Handicapped kids. Children who cannot walk, blind, down syndrome.. Sigh. I’m lucky I’m alive and healthy..

I had a heart to heart talk with my sisters! And I liked it. You know like how, telling your problems to your sisters are the best thing to do, because they will never betray you, they give the best advice, and aussi parce que mereka makan garam lebih banyak dari saya makan nasi.. Hehehehe..

It’s silly how I’ve always liked the wrong guy. Duh. Blame me for not being in the correct space and bunch. >.<Bleeeggghhhhhh.. Luckily I still know what I have to hold on to.

It’s the end of the year again!!

What a weird thing to say right? Well practically my uni year is ending really really soon! In 1 month! And I am excited! Hehehe. I’ll be having my normal classes, Monday to Thursday, until the 8th of April, and then exams from the 11th till the 15th of April, 3 weeks of spring break, then 1 last paper on the 2nd week of May. Et apres c’est fini!! Get ready for my trip to Barcelona!! Eclatement total!! Heeheehee.

Haihz sad thing is that, not many Barcelonian actually speak spanish there. They either speak Catalan or French. Sien. I want to practice my un poco espagnol! But but but, still, on va s’eclater la bas!! Ouaiiisssss!!!!

Spring is finally here! No more heavy winter jackets hanging on my porte-manteau! Now it’s all flowery and bright!

So let’s go picnic and have fun la this weekend! I can’t wait for May to come though! Time to shop for dresses and then trips! And then, back to lovely Malaysia in July to see my sister’s baby!! Yeay! I am excited!!! Gonna baby sit comme entrainement. Trop bien non??

Hehe, I love french. Not the people, but the language. Well the people also la actually, some of them. I can’t imagine myself leaving this wonderful place though. I’m gonna miss everything here. And I’m definitely gonna miss speaking french with random people on the streets. People here in Besançon is super friendly, you bump into somebody, the fella will say sorry. And also, free coffee almost everyday. How? I’ve always get my coffee from the coffee distributor, and every 7/10 times, mesti ada free balance! And bukan 50 cents balance ye tuan tuan dan puan puan, it’s always 1 euro or 1 euro and 50 cents ye! Hehehe..

Ok now time to get ready and go to class. Later we’re having this international food event, Le tour du monde en 80 plats! Talk soon!!!! Hehehe.

Happy Spring!

]]> http://www.jazzeeka.com/2011/03/31/its-the-end-of-the-year-again-a-la-francaise/feed/ 4 http://www.jazzeeka.com/2011/03/09/im-sick/ http://www.jazzeeka.com/2011/03/09/im-sick/#comments Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:23:13 +0000 Jess http://www.jazzeeka.com/?p=769 Yes, I’m sick. Pas gravement, fever, sore throat, cold. But still. Sigh.

2 nights ago, I had a minor nose bleed, as usual. The weather here is getting warmer but dryer too, and that is what I hate about the weather here in Europe. So so dry, when you go running you will literally feel the dryness in your throat.

The suckiest thing is that, I have a presentation tomorrow morning at 10am, and it’s not even a useful one as it’s during tutorial. Who does presentation during tutorial? To be honest, I actually think that the teacher/tutor is trying to find excuses to not teach/tutor our class because : 1. He does not know what to teach; 2. He never did Science du Langage and he doesn’t know a shit about linguistics. Then why tutor? Chi-makan. I’m just gonna blab tomorrow. I don’t care!

This morning when I woke up, I knew that I’m gonna have this fever. I drank like 5 bottles of water and kept going to the toilet but I still can’t get rid of it. Worst part, at 3pm, in Max Silberztein’s class, I had this dizzy feeling plus migraine, when I looked at my comrade beside me, I felt like I’m on a boat in the sea.

Now, I’m on the 5th page of my presentation and I’m going to stop. No point presenting something that I am not sure myself. Statistique Lexicale? Come on, if I misunderstand something in this chapter and I tell it to the class, they will throw shit on my face! Or I think, they will get mixed up and confused too, and I will be ruining their brains if it happens that my information is not correct. Screw you Mr. Happy. (His last name is Happy in french – Joyeux)

Let’s just hope I’ll have the strength to get up tomorrow morning.

“So who’s this guy? Why is falling in love horrible? A disease?? Why is it a destined catastrophe?”

I once went to HSBM (High School Bukit Mertajam) for form six, and the motto of the school is : “Aut Coepisse Noli Aut Confice” and it means, “To accomplish or do not begin”. I think, I’m in need to use this aphorism right now.

I just need to let someone know how I feel now, but given the decalage horaire, lack of time and the limited choice of people, I do not know who to turn in to. To be honest, I want to let the whole world know about this and then give me words of hope or encouragement because I am seriously in need of some!

Worst thing, I cannot enter the feelings into my blog, what if he reads it? And what if he doesn’t like me, we will not talk after that, and I especially do not want that to happen! I’d rather let him be oblivious about this and life goes on.

Et encore, I don’t know if this might sound stupid or not, but I begin to “treat myself better” just to attract his attention. I stop snacking, and even decided to maybe be a once-in-a-while vegan so that I can lose some weight, I start running again after 2 years of serious discontinuation. I deemed that, however faraway he can be, 1 or 10 000 km, he will somehow sometime maybe check my facebook to see what I’m up to from time to time, because we never get to see each other much?

I cannot. To accomplish or do not begin. I must not even think about it anymore, imagine the deprivations even though its achievable. Especially if it’s achievable. Especially that. There will be so much loss, and detriments, I think one is better than more. He’s far anyway. I will keep him in the dark.

P/S : As stupid as I can be, I know I will share this post in Facebook, the forbidden place. C’est une piege.