Hey folks.

Gosh, i just came back from a long walk to Ming Tien (SS24 Taman Megah) for a dinner with Preena, Grace, Adnin, Amy and Sharmyn and it was a very nice dinner with them (although i don’t really have the idea what they were talking about) but seriously i enjoyed eating out with them (especially with Grace because i haven’t been out with her for days).

Then after we came back, Grace and I decided to walk to Oldtown in Bangsar South to have some coffee and lepak2 as we haven’t really sit down and talk to each other since last week. Hehe. Ironic eh? :p But then our harapan hancur-ed because we met Adam, Reva, Nancie and Vimal on our way there at the gate, and they caught us for some chat. Haha! So Grace and i didn’t go to Oldtown but its a very nice night chatting with them there. We sat there till its over curfew, and Madam Maimun saw us there but she didn’t nag or what. She’s just a sweet lady, she let us lepak for about 15 minutes more and then she said : ‘Its time for sleep rite now, and its about to rain, come on lets go and have some rests.’ Gosh she’s so sweet!!

Well then when i went back to my room, my mood actually changed. Its like a whole lot of difference when i’m with those bunch of guys, and when i’m with my course/housemates. The thing is, i prefer so much to hang out with the hype gang (Grace, Adnin, Nancie, Adam, Preena, Amy, Shoggi and all the others) because, they are who i supposed to melekat with because they’re nons, and they understand what i understand. I never have conversations about James Bond with my housemates, i never eat out till supper time with them and i never chat with lecturers like how i did with the hype gang. Sobb2.

And then, to accept the fact that these bunch of nice people are leaving soon really gets me emo! Before getting close to them, i have been mixing with the wrong type of people that gets me on my nerves everytime because they are those type of people who do not know how to care about people’s feelings and stuffs. They are selfish and i am just not apart of them anymore. Gosh. (Sorry to say this but i am supposed to tell out the truth and come clean rite?) Where as, my course/housemates are good and nice, but we don’t really cling to each other, when it comes to some point where we really are different from each other. They won’t understand most of my jokes, and they don’t really know what am i talking about also. Like the scene in Money Not Enough 2 where Ah Hui and his mother was quarrelling about his mother’s memory lost, i can still react the scene with Grace and we’ll laugh about that. U see, i am not trying to make a distance from myself and my course/housemates, but it’s just that sometimes somethings might not be appropriate between us.

Gosh, now i am getting myself so emo because i just don’t want them to leave, but thank God Preena and Adam will be in Marjon so i’ll be able to spend some time with them although its far from Besancon.

I am emo, i know.

Its funny to think that 2009 is coming, because i don’t really hope or wish for the new year to arrive. 2008 has the most inforgettable memories in my life. And i bet, 2009 will be a year where everybody will be leaving for their studies et cetera. And i don’t really like the idea of starting a new year with less friends around. I really don’t like it.

Firstly, the TESL Cohort 5 people are leaving to their desired new study place, and the sad thing is that i just get to know and mix and hang out and lepak with them when the year is about to end. I don’t know how do i feel now, but to be honest, i am emo now. Grace is going to New Zealand, Adnin is going to MacQ, and everyone else. After this no one’s going to Oldtown with me. No one’s going to amjal with me. No one’s going to sit by the side of the road with me and lepak and sembang about James Bond and stuffs! (Yea, that day when the 5 of us - Adnin, Adam, Sharmyn, Naveen, Shoggi were lepak-ing by the roadside there’s this stupid dumbass ran the bike and fed us with smokes. I hope he’l die soon) Argh! Gosh i just hope that they won’t leave or even 2009 will not come. Then not to forget i’m flying to France by September. Okay, this is one of the things that i can’t wait for, but the idea of leaving the family is extremely sad. I am sure i’ll be crying all day because i am so so so far from them. I won’t be seeing Momy and Daddy for almost a year, i won’t be talking face to face with my sisters, and then Ryan! My God! I won’t be playing with Ryan for 3 years! So then, i really have to plan and save money to fly back every Chinese New Year. Man..

Ouh! Not to forget the Cohort 2 people. They’re leaving soon also. I’ll miss the days i play basketball with Durra n Leny, then the eating times together with Shin Yi.

Haihz.

Nevermind la.

Come what may.

It is so near to the end of the year, and the weather is getting hotter and hotter! Well, that is not the main point of my blog today, but since it was super hot during the past few days, i just want to mention it. Haha! Ironic! Ok, classes last week were quite interesting, we only had classes before 10am. After the break, no lecturers came in, and yea, the class started woohoo-ing and huha-ing! Wahahah. So my classmates were free, but i was finishing up my assignments. That is why i am here now blogging my head out! Hahax.

Ok, let’s get back to the point. Recently, there are these series of unfortunate events happening on me, and so i decided to flush them away. But how? Well, remember there’s this saying : If u think u can, u can? I manipulate it to : If u think u’re ok, u’re ok. Then, i read a Buddhist book that says : Your problems are what u made and what u think off. So i analyse it, i rethink and then i came out with something positive. Then, there’s this book entitled The Secret that says : “If you resist, you persist.” And yea, i ended with success!

Premièrement, its about the lecturers bragging us all the time. When i come to think of it again, it’s the responsibilities of the lecturers to nag at their students because they actually cared about them ; and then even though how good a person scored, that does not mean that the lecturers cannot continue to membebel because they are made for that! Right? Haha. Of course there are times we will actually burst out when we are often taken as the victim, but it will be alright, because we will get over it sooner or later. LIKE MY CASE I MENTIONED BEFORE IN MY PREVIOUS POSTS ABOUT MISS TEH! Wahahahaha. Désolée madame. :p

And then, so they happen to talk about relationships and stuffs, there were almost half (or more) people in the class who has/had committed in a relationship. And that included me. I remembered i was in my third former i had a boyfriend, then when i think about it again, it was damn funny! That guy was not quite my type. He was all party and stuff, and i don’t really belong to the havoc type of gang, because i was in the orchestra team. SO THAT WAS WHAT MADE US FAMOUS. A nerd-innocent-orchestra-girl with a strong-tall-rugby-guy is so not a match! Wahaha, but what the heck! We made it however. Eventhough we are different, we have some similarities, as in our likes and dislikes and we were quite ngam. I know what he talks about, and he understands my jokes! Haha. And yea, that was also the time when i don’t really fancy to have handsome boyfriend and stuffs, because i was satisfied with what i got. But now no more okay, i am single now, and i like it! Haha.

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So that is all for now, i still have to catch up on my studies. So toodles everyone!

P/S : My exam (DELF B2) are most probably canceled, and instead of taking it end of this year, we will sit the papers on March next year. Un petit ‘hurray” d’abord…

I just finished watching Moonlight Resonance/Heart of Greed 2, and the show is super duper nice! After watching it, i felt that i become emo suddenly. (Maybe Yu So Chau influenced me! :P) But what the heck, i like it so much.

At times, i used to be mad at things very fast even it is for no reason. But when i come to think of it again, its just a waste of energy to get mad so often. Its very tiring to get mad at the same thing again and again. For instance, i’ll get glummy whenever some people didn’t care about me, like i how i cared for them. This is the consequences of treating people the wrong way. I agreed with u Mash, why do i need to care about their feelings when they don’t even wanna bother mine. Now, i realised that its not worth it to make myself feel bad also. I’ll live my life for me, and i will not live it to satisfy others ANYMORE.

I think i wanna change my life, as in changing my style of doing things, changing my habits, my routine, and stuffs. And myself too, abit, maybe. I find it dreadful to be treated the way i that i don’t like. So now, bye bye haters, hello newers! Wahha!

And yea, i think i am gonna flunk my trial exam next week. Yea, it is next week, and i haven’t even sit down properly and study yet!! This whole 5 days of holidays, i just sat by the laptop and type type type, chat with Kippo, blog, doing stupid things that i regretted doing now, watching tv, TVB-ing, youtubing and stuffs. I am so dead! Not to forget i still haven’t revise any of the real exam’s format yet! Kippo is now killing himself with his final report, but me now, blogging, watching tv, drinking ribena, laughing, thinking what to eat for breakfast tomorrow, planning on when to go and have steamboat with Preena, sms texting, regretting for not following Shin Yi and the rest to Genting, meeting Grace for dinner, bla bla bla. Jessica Ang May Ching! Wake up and hurry to your desk for your homeworks now!!

Oklah, i’m going to do my works first. Then, i’ll be blogging to end the night. Ciao~

today, i broke up with some one i love. it was me who decided
to break the lines, because i can take it no more. i hate the
ignorance, i hate the girls around him. the sad thing is, he
didn’t object this. he replied with small text messages, forwarded
text messages to tie back the lines. but i felt that its not
sincere enough. i usually have a lot to say when this happens.
but this time around, i was dumbfounded by my own action.
will i regret doing this? i doubted that. but i know, without
me, he’ll be as happy as before. my existence or absence
don’t really mean much to him.

dear camel,

i have to let go, let it all off. just accept it that i want to
let go, even though deep in me, i didn’t ever want to. maybe
with this, u can be more free to fly to wherever u want to
without having to care about me anymore. i think its better
for us to be apart from each other. i hope u’ll be happy
with all the things u have now.

take care.

Few months ago, a guy (God knows who) added me in facebook. He said he knew me, and my sister, he was from my previous high school and is now in the same campus as my sister. Hm. So yea, he added my sister also. But the problem is, he keep acting like he actually know me, where i live and stuffs. At first, i thought that he’s just wanting to know his friend’s sister and stuffs like that, cause before this, some of my sister’s friend did ask about me. But the problem is, when i asked my sister, she said that she didn’t know who this guy is, and according to her, that guy said that i am his friend, that is why he added my sister. Haha! Weird guy. So he has been checking out my page, commenting on my photos, long message chain and stuffs. At first, i just melayan, but as time passed, he really got on my nerves. There’s this one photo of mon amie (my girl friend) and he addressed her ‘him’. So this is the akibat off acting like he knew me and my friends when the truth is he knows nothing. (unless he’s stalking)  And he keep commenting about everything in facebook and seriously i didn’t like that. If we know each other its ok with me, but au contraire, i didn’t know a thing about him. Durh~ Stalker!! Kay-poh. So i did some research in his facebook. Actually, this guy, he adds all the cute chicks and made friend with them. Through wall chatting, and stuffs like that. Gosh. Unbelievable. Yea, it is true that we can make friends online, i have a very good old online friend that i am very closed to also, but, its different u know? Haihz. Just a rant anyway. Haha!

Hey folks. Gosh, it has been weeks since i last wrote a blog post! Yea, i have been busy since the last few weeks ago. Busy with assignments, works here and there, coming exams and stuffs. I was so stuck up with so many things to do, and sometimes so tired with peoples’ behavior. Gosh! The International Language was finally over, and thanks to God, the event was quite a success. It has been a superbly busy week last week, and i think it will be the same next week. God, i just need some time off! Imagine this, last minute decisions of those wonderful lecturers to take the exams end of November? It really drives me mad! For once they said they want us to take the exams next year, so we will score better and have some rest this year, but suddenly they changed their plan.  They told us when we have 1 month more left to prepare for this frightening exam! How fickle! Gosh.

Then i was so tired of this music teacher bragging me to perform when i said i don’t want to. He’s so forcing and he thought he’s the most talented musician in this college. He kept forcing me to perform when i said no for a few times. And he was talking to me about time management when he doesn’t even know how tight my schedule is. Yea, playing piano is my hobby, but hobbies are for free times. When i am busy, eventually i will have lots of things to do so i won’t find some other things we called ‘hobbies’ to spend the day with. In the nutshell, i don’t understand why there’s this kind of people. I really can’t figure it out.

So, my days were not so good, and my mood sucks.

And lately, I’ve been thinking a lot. Really a lot. Thinking about past experiences that made myself into a better person? Perhaps. La question qu’on se demande ici, si un garcon n’aime pas une fille, pourquoi alors devoir-t-il agir comme il l’aime? The question is, if a guy does not like a girl, why then should he act like he likes that girl? Et pourquoi veut-il mentir a cette fille? Pense-t-il que la fille peut-etre blessee au coeur? And why would he want to lie to that girl? Didn’t he think that it will hurt her heart? … That is what life is. U thought u fell in love, but u are actually not. Tant pis. I was so down when this happened to me, but when i think about it again, it worth nothing to be sad or feel being lied and stuff. This is so part of life. Yea, that guy should be blamed for his actions, but maybe he’s just plain stupid to treat people like that? And maybe i’m quite dumb also to believe in what he said, so naive. So now i’m happy to be how i am, living without having to think about caring the feelings of the opposite side we called our partner. Because i don’t have one. Ahha! Pourtant, experiences are worth to be learned!

Yea, i didn’t go to Midvalley for two weeks already! That was a miracle. Haha! Yea, usually, i went there with Pearlie, but lately she seems to be so busy (actually i felt like she’s trying to run away from me for don’t know what reason) Durh~ Maybe she’s mad at me for not being supportive especially during the Midautumn fest. She said she didn’t want to take part in doing anything, but that does not mean i have to follow her what. I was quite geram also because i didn’t know a thing about all the meetings and stuffs, and it was Grace who told me all about it. I was really looking forward for the fest, but that made me disappointed. And the shock is that Pearlie went to one of the meeting without calling me and yet, she told me that she will not attend to any. Then there came some people who said i was trying to be missing in action, when the truth was i didn’t freaking know about all that! Argh.. Geram sial. Whatever la. The fest was held and it was quite fun also taking pictures and stuffs. And it was great, helping Adelynn around.

These are how my life sucks till now. And i am still figuring how to make myself happy and not bothering all the stupid things that will happen in the next few days.

I feel like stopping. I feel like taking it away. I feel stressed. I wanna give up.

I am tired of treating people who actually took me for granted. They might not know that i actually cares when they use me, and they might not know that i am trying to get rid of them. But whenever i try to, they will always bump to me and say all the sweet stuffs. I want them to go away, but at the same time, i want them to stay. Stupid me right? I really hope that they will try to understand how i felt being treated like, and i just hope that one day, they will sit beside me and let me scold their head off. Gosh. If u read this, just so u know, if u never want to end this, one day i might get your face off my mind and make as if like i have not known u, and let see how u can help yourself with all your stupid problems. U can choose to stop all that and i can pretend that all never happens. When u make up your mind, call me up and we’ll chat like a friend.

That’s all for now, i need to sleep. Goodbye!!

Yes, my people. This song is so nice, it’s worth to be published as one of the posts in my blog! Yea Yea people, listen to this song and sing to it! Will make you feel happier even life sucks balls in reality! Haha. Thanks to Kip.

Le video : noun masculin

That’s why my title is “I Love Him” (eventhough got some special meaning in there) haha

Haha, I’ve been tagged by Farah!

Rules::-

* Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
* Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
* Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
* Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog .

7 facts that best describe yourself (tagged by Farah)

1. A good listener.

2. A loner (sometimes).

3. Food lover = Big eater

4. Loves to make new friends, but will easily ignore people if they start to show their freakishness.

5. My family is my priority.

6. A book lover.

7. Music makes my my world go round!

You’ve been tagged also!

K. Nisah, Amy, Adnin, Ryan, Em, Idzrul.

Hello folks. Well, i guess this few months are the leaving months for me. Everybody left me. At first, it was the German students, they went to Germany to pursue their studies for a year. Even its only a year, i still can’t meet with them next year because i’ll be leaving when they’re back! Merdes. Then, Nadege, Miss Ho n Thomas went off. I don’t really care bout Miss Ho, because with her presence, we can do nothing also. Wahaha.. Evil Jessica. But, Nadege’s absence really gave me a big impact. What? I’m not as hardworking as before. That’s all. Ahha!

And, during Mr. Thomas’s farewell meeting, he actually cried. Sobb Sobb. And he gave each of us a book. And mine, entitled La Controverse de Valladolid by Jean-Claude Carrière. He put some ucapan also, and they said my ucapan is the longest. Hua~

Monsieur Le Professeur

Monsieur Le Prof, et mon livre! Merci Thomas! =D

His love letter for me. Haha. No la, his last words.. blabla..

Thank you so much for the book Thomas. =D (As if he’s reading).

~~~~

Let’s move on to the next topic. Few weeks later, there are quite a number of things happened. Well, weirdo is always bothering everyone, and that’s one of the stupidest thing that i would love to avoid. Weirdo weirdo weirdo. He’s so freaky i wished someone could just bang him on his head! Grr. Ok, i’m not going to repeat everything because basically, he does the same thing everyday. Heavy perfume, bla bla. Then, after the raya, there’s this Music Appreciation thingy and the music teacher is asking me to play. No, he’s not asking. Initially, he’s forcing me to perform! And i don’t even know what song to play. What, Jay Chou’s Secret Piano Collection? F* that. No one in IPBA can actually understand what classical music means, so if i play those songs, they’d just dose off or listen to their MP3s. Right. If those people can actually value these musics like the students in ‘High School Musical’, i might just agree to play. But, they’re not. Gah! *Come on gimme some ideas on what to play on the piano..*

However, for once, i am anticipating for the raya holidays, although i don’t celebrate raya. But who cares? Haha.

p/s : Okay, bout that performance thingy, i am quite shy to perform on stage, because i have never perform since, i was 17. Gosh! I’m dying. Can’t ever breath.